enlight me a brighter day [25 Jul 2005|12:26pm] [ mood | thoughtful ] [ music | silence ] I just got all dreamy with this verse... I soo want to give it to him.. but it might be too soon.. might be too fast... might scare him away.. Dear Miel I wake each morning with wonderful thoughts of you From the sound of your voice to the way your eyes move To your cute lips and your beautiful smile My thoughts of you keep me going mile after mile I truly have never been loved the way you love me For you love me just as I am and just let me be With you I have experienced a joy that I have never known You have so much love and trust that I have never been shown I will always love you as the day is long And into the night and on and on You are truly beautiful, wise, sexy, and smart I’ve seen it in you eyes you love with all your heart I will end this verse being a lover both tried and true I will never be captivated by another as long as I am loved by you.

enlight me sing with me.. [08 Jul 2005|07:23am] [ mood | lonely ] 2 songs that etched my soul.. "I KNOW I'LL NEVER LOVE THIS WAY AGAIN" You looked inside my fantasies and made each one come true, something no one else had ever found a way to do. Ive kept the memries one by one, since you took me in and I know Ill never love this way again. I know Ill never love this way again, so I keep holdin on before the good is gone. I know Ill never love this way again, hold on, hold on, hold on. A fool will lose tomorrow reaching back for yesterday I wont turn my head in sorrow if you should go away. Ill stand here and remember just how good its been, and I know Ill never love this way again. I know Ill never love this way again, so I keep holdin on before the good is gone. I know Ill never love this way again, hold on, hold on, hold on. I know Ill never love this way again, so I keep holdin on before the good is gone. I know Ill never love this way again, hold on, hold on. "Where do broken Hearts Go" I know it's been some time But there's something on my mind You see, I haven't been the same Since that cold November day... We said we needed space But all we found was an empty place And the only thing I learned Is that I need you desperately... So here I am And can you please tell me... oh Chorus: Where do broken hearts go Can they find their way home Back to the open arms Of a love that's waiting there And if somebody loves you Won't they always love you I look in your eyes And I know that you still care, for me I've been around enough to know That dreams don't turn to gold And that there is no easy way No you just can't run away... And what we have is so much more Than we ever had before And no matter how I try You're always on my mind chorus And now that I am here with you I'll never let you go I look into your eyes And now I know, now I know... chorus

1 star enlight me this is quite accurate.. scary! [14 May 2005|08:39am] [ mood | workaholic mood ] [ music | none ] just took some tests.. You Have A Type A Personality A You are hyper, energetic, and always on the mood You tend to succeed at everything you attempt And if you don't succeed at first, you quickly climb your way to the top! You could be called a workaholic, but you also make time for fun As long as it's high energy and competitive, you're interested You have the perfect personality for business and atheltic success Do You Have a Type A Personality? and another one... The Keys to Your Heart You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered. What Are The Keys To Your Heart? and another (damn..im enjoying... this is sooo moi).. You Are a Warrior Soul You're a strong person and sometimes seen as intimidating. You don't give up. You're committed and brave. Truly adventuresome, you are not afraid of going to battle. Extremely protective of loved ones, you root for the underdog. You are picky about details and rigorous in your methods. You also value honesty and fairness a great deal. You can be outspoken, intimidating, headstrong, and demanding. You're a hardliner who demands the best from themselves and others. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul What Kind of Soul Are You? im not bored... im enjoying..hehe Your Birthdate: January 4 Being born on the 4th day of the month should help make you a better manager and organizer. You may be more responsible and self-disciplined than you realize. Sincere and honest, you are a serious and hard working individual. Your feelings are likely to seem somewhat repressed at times. The number 4 has something of an inhibiting effect on your ability to show and express affections, as feeling are very closely regulated and controlled. You are apt to be much more practical, rational, and conscious of details. There is a good deal of rigidity and stubbornness associated with the number 4. What Does Your Birth Date Mean? bwhahahaha... Your Love Style is Agape You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love. What's Your Love Style? second to the last ... You Are A Good Friend You're always willing to listen Or lend a shoulder to cry on You're there through thick and thin Many people consider you their "best friend"! What Kind of Friend Are You? so much for my francais! voila! Your Inner European is French! Smart and sophisticated. You have the best of everything - at least, *you* think so. Who's Your Inner European?

enlight me after 10 years... [29 Apr 2005|04:49pm] [ mood | steady lang ] [ music | ohhh baby i love your way... everyday! ] after ten years, im back. a lot of things have already happened.. 1) im happy with the outcome of my thesis. Yes, my thesis is already semi-nominated. I just need to maintain my grade and POOFF i'll be achieving one of my goals.. (woohooo!!!) 2) my shooting star. well, things happened. As of now, we are friends. I thought thats what i wanted.. but arrghh..i want something more. Now, im trying to get a hold of him but i feel that he's ignoring me (mainly because of some issues that I only found out today..) so yeah... i made up my mind and I want him back. I'll try to win him back (just for the sake of "no regrets") but if he still won't bulge..then the thought that i'll be done with school comforts moi(therefore, i wont be seeing him anymore..).. i miss my shooting star. I miss him sooo bad. (arghh...).. grrr... could i just go there in that "water falls" vicinity and kidnap him.. and remind him how good we could be together. and tell him that I regret making a DECISION out of fear...and ask him to give this a chance. (in short: magpaka-tanga!! haha. isn't it fun to be tanga sometimes?!..fun kaya..) 3) OJT--arrghh my department. slowpokes! i need my papers! and i need it now! damn shit! I need to apply asap and they are holding my papers (arrghhh to them..). 4) i want my shooting star.. one of my sisters slept over sa house ko..and we were thinking (thanks lye for making damay! hehe) about the possibilities with my shooting star. Yep, its bleak. But fuck it talaga. sayang =( i miss him..im trying not to drown sa emotions ko. I have to make him feel that he is special to me (i do text him..) but i have to reFOCUS my energy on different things (such as: personal development). 5) Its fun to be a student trainer. Lots of opportunities. I figured out that I really have a passion to serve other people, passion to be of service. Its really fulfilling to be a part of the improvement of these students.

1 star enlight me fairytale turned illusion [16 Mar 2005|04:51pm] [ mood | life is a bitch ] [ music | insensitive ] yes..it was just an illusion.

enlight me sigh [05 Feb 2005|11:47am] [ mood | sigh ] [ music | satisfaction ] is this my fairytale?

enlight me i dont wanna think too much.. [29 Jan 2005|01:43pm] [ mood | im pathetic ] [ music | your love-alamid ] i had a lovely time with this ****** last night..i swear it felt sooooo right. I am actually thinking if i just got carried away (or if ever, he got carried away..).. i am making excuses..and citing different options why it happened (option A:must be the beer **but fuck it, we just had 2 bottles each of red horse..*, option B:it could be the mood **Yeah, it was senti..**,option C: it could be the ambience (rooftop..underneath the stars and yep, the moon was lovely**, or OPTION D: like what we said... maybe, it was just US..).. now, im trying not to think of things.. im trying not to analyze much.. im trying NOT to expect.. and you know what? i think I psyched myself already.. It was a really good night--if nothing more happens..then fuck it. i could always hold on to that wonderful..wonderful..wonderful..wonderful memory (sheesh, im pathetic huh?).. thesis--my partner got sick **poor armi**.. but im good with time pressue--so i think we'll survive pa naman.. family and barkada--super okay! PS: annikins! i tried to go online the other day... ill send you Sms okay? i love you twinny! =)

enlight me free time...sheesh, im getting bored.. [20 Jan 2005|11:41am] [ mood | alive and enthusiastic ] [ music | booohooo ] back to my updates =) guys..guys..guys... i've been dating and shoot, im enjoying it a lot! since, (as of the moment)..im not really 'looking' out for "the one"--i could say that I am happily settled into this dating thingie..i met a lot of new peeps (BIGGER social circle)... i got a lot of new clothes (ofcourse i have to look smashin)..and it lets my mind drift away from the "senti" thoughts.. lol (im sure those singles out there could very well identify to that 'muni muni' moments.lol).. moi sched: this weekend (H***) next weekend (M***) and on the 27th--bon voyage party for Will (awww.. he made me happy pa naman--and he's going back to Sydney!) we moved to a new house. it is still near BF (thank God!)! well, what could I say? the moving out was rushed so I wasn't able to orderly pack my things--so yeah, until now..im fixing my new room (its colored yellow!). Last night, i settled my wabbits and kittens (yehey! they are safe and happy!!)!! now,im just fixing my closet and my kikay stuffs (which will probably consume my whole "morning" weekend!) and i will also have to secure a STICKER for the cars of my gimik friends (am i thoghtful or what? hehe). I actually ranted to my dad that my friends (ramon...jace...gawy)... will have a hard time to go inside of the village to fetch moi (since they have to go the 'other ' way cuz they don't have a car sticker that will allow them to pass the "short way"..) so my dad told me that he'll be the one to pay for the stickers (yahoo!) and my friends wont have a hard time to go to my place (whew!).. i think I like this guy ******. he makes me happy..and he is soooooo freakin nice! i must say that he is the first guy, (aside from the guys in my barkada) whom i met who has great manners and is sooooo maalaga! damn him for being like that! lol---he makes me want him! lol.. hmmm.. we went out last friday. It was so fun... a relaxing kind of fun. we enjoyed 'talking'..actually i talk a lot and he listens patiently...but damn, when he speaks his mind out.. all i could do is agree! sheesh, the way he thinks and perceives things intrigues me. So yeah, i am interested with him. (lol). we'll be going out next week--he asked me out for a movie (damn! what the hell am i gonna wear?hehe).. and then probably tom, we'll go out (with my friends..)...sheesh, he makes me feel things na matagal ko nang hindi naramdaman. He was absent in our class last week--and I got really pissed. Actually, i got pissed at the situation--then i got pissed at myself--cuz damn, why was i reacting like that! grrr... am i getting attached? i think so... usually i don't give a fuck if anybody is absent...oh sheesh...

1 star enlight me the heat is on... [19 Jan 2005|05:46pm] [ mood | steady mood.. ] [ music | silence ] i like this song... "When will it be me" (by Yasmeen) I see the couple are walkin` by Feel like I Don`t wanna be alone today So glad no one can see what I hide Deep inside How it feels to be The girl who never gets the right guy Tell me why When there`s so much I`ve got to give I wake up reaching out in the night Ready to hold him tight `Til I realize That nobody is there (CHORUS.) When will it be me? When will I be the one Somebody`s dreaming of? When`s it gonna be? When will I find my heart Lyin` inside the arms That never let me go? I`d really like to know When will it be me? My friends seem to have all the love (Feels like love.) Knocks on their door and walks right in I know that I am worthy of what I`ve been wishing for I can`t wait no more Love`s nowhere to be found (CHORUS.) (HOOK.) Feeling his tender touch (Lying in his arms.) Talkin` bout forever together Givin` him all of my love That`s been trying to break free Don`t wanna be alone No more I`m telling you what I need I want someone who loves me for me And when will it be? Wonder when will it be? (CHORUS.) I ask myself When will it be me? (VERSE1.) I see the couple are walkin` by Feel like I Don`t wanna be alone today So glad no one can see what I hide Deep inside How it feels to be The girl who never gets the right guy Tell me why When there`s so much I`ve got to give I wake up reaching out in the night Ready to hold him tight `Til I realize That nobody is there (CHORUS.) When will it be me? When will I be the one Somebody`s dreaming of? When`s it gonna be? When will I find my heart Lyin` inside the arms That never let me go? I`d really like to know When will it be me? (VERSE2.) My friends seem to have all the love (Feels like love.) Knocks on their door and walks right in I know that I am worthy of what I`ve been wishing for I can`t wait no more Love`s nowhere to be found (CHORUS.) (HOOK.) Feeling his tender touch (Lying in his arms.) Talkin` bout forever together Givin` him all of my love That`s been trying to break free Don`t wanna be alone No more I`m telling you what I need I want someone who loves me for me And when will it be? Wonder when will it be? (CHORUS.) I ask myself When will it be me ...that could be a nice soundtrack for "sweepy's life"..

enlight me the bitch is back... [07 Dec 2004|11:36am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | fire by babyface and desiree ] oh sheesh, i ate my words =( 1). i realized that I am too lazy to even write down my thoughts on my "real" journal **tsk..tsk** (i spend more time in the office than at home..) 2). Some of my kadz are not updating our journal.. *hmpf* so yup,im back.. updates..updates..updates: NewYork - my visa got denied therefore all my plans went KAPOOF! enough said. Barkada - we are all busy...but then again the great thing about my barkada--even if we seldom see each other due to our hectic schedules, the warmth and the LOVE is always there. I had some issues with gawy but I got to talk to him..--can't help but cry..I swear I love them sooo much (the whole kadz)...just a thought that I have hurted them (even unintentionally) breaks my heart.. =( anyway, i am planning for an out-of-town trip..woohooo!! im excited. thinks:baguio? canyon? purto galera? --you know what? anywhere would be PERFECT...just as long as I am with them. =) Studies: -i got exempted on my "defense". woohoo!! i love my thesis proposal.. =) i am not yet sure if I could carry it for the thesis proper--i need to ask my partner if he will allow me to use it or revise it (JIMMY!!!--- it was a pleasure working with you!) -im thinking of where I could have my OJT (annikins--thats like internship! hehe)..Malacanang? Department of Foreign Affairs? Embassy of Singapore? Damn shit... i don't know *waaaa!!* Myself: -for those who knew what I went through and for those who were always there for me---super thank you. I must say that I am somehow "okay" now. That stint that I pulled last week turned out to be a great move--it helped me clear my mind..I am taking one step at a time... who knows, everthing will finally be alright. -im trying to lose weight.. lol. and i am happy with the "little results".. hehe. Lovelife: -oh gawd, i've dated..i've dated... and I am dating someone right now.. BUT damn, i haven't met the right person for me. ohh sheesh, ofcourse I am not looking for a "perfect" guy.. just someone that I could love no matter what... someone na mapapanindigan ko.. someone I could introduce to my friends and my family... Annikins: i love your pics! awww.. mario+anni sitting on a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G! lol..

enlight me lalalalalala [27 Oct 2004|02:51pm] [ mood | apathetic ] [ music | farewell ] im fine now... been a long time huh? i decided to stop posting on this livejournal..mainly cuz of 2 reasons: 1) i don't want to neglect my 'real' journal (the classic 'pen and paper') 2) i made a livejournal for my barkada..and thats where I post.. gotta go..

enlight me emotional thingie... [15 Oct 2004|06:36pm] [ mood | cynical ] [ music | hearbeat ] what the hell am i feeling?! --i don't know how to describe it. I was trying to apply basic psychology but argh i cannot seem to understand myself. I swear, i want a psychiatrist right now. Someone to sort out my feelings--consolidate all my emotional hang-ups (if thats what you call it...)...and give me a summary and a SOLUTION to my emotional 'thingie' (for the lack of a better term!).. so, how did this all start? last night i was with jc, marcus and moksy (a.k.a ramon).. we had a good night out. And yeah..they are happy and INVOLVED (totally inlove!). Don't get me wrong, I am super happy for them--but sometimes napapaisip ako.. Where is my lovelife headin? I tell myself (and others) that i am ultra-busy! (which is for real--cuz i am totally busy!) but it made me think--is that the real reason? or am i hiding something beneath those emotional pile of shits?! am i? am i? am i? (goes psycho!).. anyway, i refuse to date (for the meantime).. i shut out all potential guys.. i seal my world (with work).. blah blah blah.. whats wrong with me? go figure it out..

1 star enlight me im craving for a bearhug... [12 Oct 2004|01:32am] [ mood | mellow ] it was a fun weekend.. i was with my barkada.. we had a bash for yay (happy birthday yay!)... gawd, everytime Im with them i can't help but feel this tremendous overwhelming feeling... nawawala lahat ng stress, ng pagod, ng lungkot. sometimes nga, i just look at them---and i instantly have this content smile *sigh* on my face. i cannot imagine my life without them. i could die for them. is this pms or what? lol.. i want a bearhug! and yes anni, i wuv yah too!

1 star enlight me my week-long production [08 Oct 2004|11:25am] [ mood | okay ] [ music | your love ] things are getting brighter for my "new york new york"... I got a cheaper rate for my airfare (thanks to my agency!!)... i found new potential sponsors... my school approved my absences (and yeah, they are uber supportive)... - i already feel that its gonna be a dream come true (more prayers! hehe..)... oh gawd, you know what? i dreamt of my "new york escapades" last night (weird)..i dreamed that i took EvaAir and my plane had a faulty engine (now, i think thats a nightmare!)..oh sheesh, i don't care!! life is too short to be afraid of petty things.. i miss my barkada... i miss gawy the most **yep, i miss him soooooooooooo much!** i wanna talk to him... just wanna hang out and arrrghhhh, spend some quality time. I sooo love that guy..as in!! sheesh, i actually went senti mode last night. haaaayyyy kadz, sobrang mahal ko kayo.--- this site made me awwww http//:www.photobucket.com (username:kadz password: barkada) my academics are steady. I'm cramming... but hell, i don't wanna get cranky just cuz of it. Maybe, i am already 'trained' to handle pressures/stress in life. lol. i don't need stress tabs anymore.. i wanna be harassed!! haha.. (give me some more!!Lol) i love this song "your love" by our local artist:alamid. sing with moi! =) your love You're the one who never let me sleep Through my mind and through my soul, You touch my lips You're the one that I can't wait to see When you're here by my side, I'm in ecstacy Refrain I'm all alone without you But days are dark without the glimpse of you Now that you come into my life I feel complete The flowers bloom, the morning shines and I can see Chorus Your love is like the sun That lights up my whole world I feel the warmth inside Your love is like a river That flows down through my veins I feel the chill inside Everytime I hear music played Reminds me of the things that we've been through In my mind I can't believe it's true But in my heart, the reality is you Repeat Refrain Repeat Chorus 2x that song made me senti.. awwwww.... memories. i don't know whether to cry or laugh. i thought of steven. where the hell is he? what has happened to him.. what could have happened...**lots of what ifs**... and lastly, what will happen in december? changes. the word itself scares me. I hate it. maybe, its because i crave for "security" in everything. I hate changes because it makes me vulnerable (if you get what i mean)..like i cannot control anything. it makes me weak. oh gawd, i remember steven. he told me once that changes only happen when we allow it"--and i told him that we cannot stop changes from happening... AND SEE WHAT HAPPEND?!? **sarcastic smile** but you know what? for the first time i could say that i am happy that things ended between us (SHEESH, DID I JUST SAY THAT?!?).. he taught me how to love myself. He left me..and i realized that before anything else, i should love myself first... to my twin-im sorry..i just hope that this (our lil conflict) will come out as something positive...like it will make our friendship stronger. i guess because of what has happened between us--we got to value each other more (thats the way i see it)..cuz i never thought that i'll be this scared...---i don't wanna lose you. not ever. it's jv's party later (thinks of my outfit!)... and elisa's surprise party tomorrow! (woohoo..)..lots of partying! i need prostitutes for my thesis! hehe.

1 star enlight me a spark of hope... [30 Sep 2004|11:26am] [ mood | hopeful ] [ music | silence ] This is the "brightest" day of the week. I'm not totally happy~but lets just say..I'm doin a lot better. My mood is better. My career is better. My outlook is better. My everything is better! hehe. I'll be going to the travel agency tomorrow. Woohooo!! i swear, when my dad told me to finally work on my papers..i was like "damn, this is it"..and it gave me an uber giddy mood! **jumps?!** so yeah..that gave me a BIG spark of hope.. now, im still looking for sponsors! it's a difficult task-but since im an inborn 'talker' (lol)... i could just whiz it! sheesh, i could be such an airhead sometimes! *im happy..let me!* i found out that-we'll be moving to a different house.. NOPE, not the "fountain" house *bye fishy!*... what the heck, i really don't care.. i just told my dad that as long as i could throw parties (hehe).. then its gonna be a good house for moi! oh speaking of parties... i might go to this biggie party tomorrow! woohoo!! but first, i have to call up mah guys and inform them (damn, i don't have credits! **poor me!!**)... oh hell, i miss hanging out with them..i miss the carefree days... (starts to go sentimental) i think my 21st birthday bash will be cancelled. damn. i even thought of making a theme for it "lets get intimate on my 21st birthday!" haha.. everybody should wear WHITE (so that they'll look FAT!! nyahahaha) and i shall wear a stunning RED (hihi.. it's mah birthday..so fuck off!Lol)... one thing for sure: there's gonna be a big surprise from BF peeps.. **attention: make him my type okay?!? shell out some cash!! lol.. and yeah, don't forget the UNIFORM! haha..i wuv uniforms! hehe..--marines/navy, military will do!! but PLEASE NO POLICE UNIFORMS or else ill kick his ass off my cake?!? lol.. (make it a CHOCOLATE cake!".. im having tampo with a special friend of mine. she is suupppeeerrrr special to moi..and i wuv her. But arrghhh..i just cannot feel the connection right now. She's sooo happy (and i am uber happy for her)...maybe, i just feel scared that i won't be needed anymore. I mean..hell, i don't know. Maybe, i just miss her sooo much..and even if i exchange mails with her..i don't feel that she is there *this is scary*. So, i shall do something to revive it again.. like, make her feel that im here.. to somehow link us again. oh gawd, i miss her. I shall give it 3 weeks (the most..) and if nothing happens... (like i still don't "feel" her) then i shall be honest and tell her about it. Yep, im tampo. i was with gels yesterday..it was fun. we just stayed at her mansion (lol). we just bombarded each other with kwentos. Actually, its funny nga.. we were talking about the "changes" we made in college. Apart from my name (nyahaha)..i realized that I changed a lot..own decision! but the good thing is.. *goes senti mode* those peeps that I grew up with (csa peeps).. they really KNOW me.. as in to the core of my being! (haaayyy...i miss sanago).. but you know what? im starting to really appreciate the peeps here in OSA.. they are the closest friends that I have here in CSB. One bad thing lang is: our friendship is limited. We don't have trials to test our friendship.. So i don't know if its just for 'good times'.. i have to go... ** i got a text from jc **

enlight me who's your bitch??? [29 Sep 2004|10:56am] [ mood | rejuvenated ] [ music | lalalalalala.... "my own composition" ] i just came back from Senate. yeah, it was alright. I thought the whole place is jurassic.. but hell, it was really clean and well-polished! haha.. I enjoyed my "room-hopping"..I wasn't able to meet a single senator (it was too early..i bet they are still asleep)..but i left all the letters to their secretaries.. they were really nice.. except's jamby's and mar's (arrrghhh..they could have hired a better PR **front desk** person!)... i talked to myself last night... *psycho*... i told myself that I don't wanna regret on anything... so i have to challenge myself more..and exert EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA effort to be able to make it... (i just have to stay positive..) and if everything fails=suicide!haha.. i feel better now... whew! note: thanks sissy for fixin my lay-out! i wuv it!!

1 star enlight me i need stress pills [27 Sep 2004|04:44pm] [ mood | cynical ] [ music | a stream of badwords... ] i swear this four letter word is giving me enough wrinkles to last me a lifetime... V-I-S-A!! fuck. im trying to get one...and yeah, the process of acquiring one is not even a bit fun! shit.... i know.. i know.. i must be patient.. but shit!! this could sabotage my whole "new york" escapade! fucking shit!!!... arrghhh... i need my barkada (the only peeps who could handle my fury and my tantrums!!)... fuck..fuck..fuck. life is a BITCH!! we will be moving to a new house.. yep, i checked it. it's smaller than the other house..but hell, it is still cozy and i love the "rocky" fountain inside! (yep, i must buy fishes... **pictures the scenario**). fuck.i need to vent.

2 stars enlight me my life's drama [25 Sep 2004|02:33pm] [ mood | satisfied ] [ music | clock's tick-tock! ] im satisfied with my life right now.. I couldn't ask for anything more... except for a brand new laptop, a cool video cam, a sponsored shopping spree..lol. nah, serioulsy..i am content with whats going on.. i met up with the "BF peeps" last night.. i haven't seen them for uhhhmm (tries to compute) a long time na.. It's actually weird cuz before we used to really go out..party til the break of dawn..road trip..get drunk.. tackle endless debates about our country...blah blah (all the shits).. but now, sheesh... we suddenly grew up. It's scary...but CUTE! lol.. I am happy for JC cuz he's soooooo inlove right now!! I am also happy for Ramon cuz well i think someone tamed him na (haha!).. *more updates next time* I miss my barkada!! ohhhh how much I miss them... hopefully, we could get together soon! Ifever i have enough funds, I would probably treat them for an overnight thingie.. (thinks?!?)... grabe, i saw some pics (hotel pics, highschool pics, gimiks..) ng kadz...and damn, there was a sudden rush of happiness. The thought of them make me happy na. They are God's gifts to me..and they are my security blanket.. as long as we are together.. i know that no matter what pagdaanan ko... I know that i could make it, as long as they are there.. I am secured and complete. Family... hmmm, my "hammy" (daddy)..my mommy..my sister... we are all okay! I actually feel bad cuz.. due to my fucked-up schedule i have limited "bonding time" with them na.. My hammy and I used to jog together but nyork, i arrive at around 11pm na so I have to let go of our "jogging-bonding" memz (hehe)... Career?! I really don't wanna say much about it cuz everything is not yet final pa naman.. I am praying..praying and praying...lol. Bahala na. it's up to God. His Will. Love?!? lol.. Hmmm... this is a tough one! haha. I am totally focused with my career/academics... plus, i have some issues that I have to fix pa (something about myself)..I guess my fucked up relationships gave me a psychological "shit" (i don't know the right term).. now, i am having a hard time to get romantically involved with someone (this is a first! haha).. but then Apple told me that it's simply because i haven't met my equal pa.. (equal-someone I could level up with..someone that could tame me..and someone that could put down my defenses..).. =) thats difficult to find! haha.. but seriously, im not looking for one.. I know that I will have my own fairytale **oh gawd, im being sentimental!*.. i don't have to find nor force anything.. I'm sure God will just surprise me. *i challenged Him to surprise me!* hehe..

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